i met with mr. cowie and my advisor today in mr. cowie’s office. my heart had been pounding only seconds before. parts of me wanted to turn around and walk away, ignore the issues, shed the responsibilities, forget the consequences, just like i’d done so often before. but i understood this. i knew this was important.
so i took deep breaths to calm my racing heart. and i thought to myself, ‘this is nothing. no matter what happens, no matter what they say, it’ll be alright.’
and then mr. mcdonald came out and asked me to come in and take a seat.
it wasn’t nearly as bad as i’d expected. and what was it that i had come to expect? disappointed looks, threats, warnings; things adults throw at you to make you do better; things that never seemed to work on me.
but mr. cowie was very polite. he was very understanding. and i didn’t feel like he thought bad of me at all. he told me i could turn it around. he said he had faith in me, even though i’d lost faith in myself.
it was then that i realized i was still just a child to them. i was a child who’d gone astray; a lost lamb, confused at a crossroads in a forest of looming trees with no way home.
i’m still a child.
but these woods won’t hold me forever.
i’m turning around now.
out of the shadows to be cradled by the sun.