it’s when you start asking the bigger questions, that’s when it starts to get scary. you start wondering, “what’s the point?” and then things fall apart and you’re going in one direction and there’s no turning back.
what am i working towards?
why am i so damn unhappy?
and it kind of eats away at you – at your insides, somewhere hidden away, somewhere secret – and you feel hollow and empty. everything changes and you’re left wondering and questioning and searching; searching for something that’ll make you smile.
what would happen if i died right now?
would i have been able to say that i truly – with every fiber of my being, truly – lived?
you become introspective and you just stay like that, absorbed and lost inside yourself, in the recesses of your mind. and the worst part about it is you can’t confess to anyone because you don’t know how. i can’t even say it properly myself. words get lost too easily. they stray from what you want people to hear.
but i am not lost like this. i can find my way. there is a point to all this. everything is worth it. this is life. i am alive.
i. am. not. lost. like. this.