above: cheeks and wuvvy playing nhl hockey madness 2000 or something. i don’t even know, but wuvvy’s making a silly face so it’s okay.
i went to sleep 8:30 am after finishing my last assignment of the year. now i’m all done, free from the academic shackles that have kept me awake for nights on end and drinking cup after cup of coffee, cream and sugar.
now i’m sitting in my room, basking in the glory of idleness. i’ve lit incense and minimized the lamplight to create a soothing ambiance and the book i’m about to read is lying at my side. today is a lazy day – a relaxing day – and i want to immerse myself in smoke and pretty words and coffee, cream and sugar – because these are for the good times – the sit and read for leisure times – too.
i was in cheeks’ room watching them play video games, having no obligations of my own to tend to, and it was nice to just hang out with a couple of friends for a while. watching them play simulation hockey was actually quite entertaining. they make funny faces and lean forward when things get even slightly intense and they yell at the screen for no good reason.
i myself like survival horror video games – fatal frame, silent hill, etc etc etc. the thrill of it all and the nightmares people create are fascinating. we live in a pretty sick world – might as well make a game of it.
tonight i will wrap myself in the blanket that i haven’t yet returned. maybe tomorrow i’ll do something productive – clean my room, go to the bank, go for a walk or something.
it’s nice to know that i have a few more days in this city to do whatever i please.
everything’s winding down now. bittersweet goodbyes are looming just around the corner and soon we’ll all be going our separate ways. i shouldn’t be here in my room by myself. i should be living out the last few moments i have with all of the friends i’ve made and the people i’ve met.
it still hasn’t hit me yet – how much i’ll miss these people and the routines i’ve grown to accept – the stability of seeing familiar faces day in day out and being able to visit a friend who lives just down the hall.
i think i’ll miss the company.
i feel like i have two lives now. one is here and the other’s in toronto.
when september comes rolling in again maybe we’ll all pick up where we left off. how easy will it be to reconnect with friends? how difficult? we’ll tell stories over coffee – or beer – and recount tales of our separate summer lives. and maybe we’ll discover that we’ve changed and grown and become different people. or maybe we’ll feel a weird and forgotten sense of home that we never even knew was there.
who will be in my life next year?
where will we all be?
whose apartments will i visit and who will visit mine?
it’s strange to think that after this, i’ll never talk to some of these people again.
but there are a few strong and lasting friendships that i will tuck into my suitcase, and when i come back, they’ll be there to unpack.
here’s to the end of a beginning and to all the beginnings yet to come.