this weekend was interesting.
i’ve been something of a make out whore recently and now i’m sick so maybe i should stop?
thursday night was strange. i was at bda, as per usual, downing beers as fast as i could to feel the rush of intoxication sweep me away. i do this thing when i’m drunk (and even when i’m sober, to be quite honest) where i touch people while i talk to them – casual touches, like my palm resting on their shoulder, or brushing their chest every now and again – sometimes resting on the back of a neck.
a friend of mine commented on it and told me i’ve mastered the art of it. he said it’s not too much nor too little, but just enough to be comfortable and maybe even enjoyable, if one allows it to be – and as he told me this, i noticed his hand resting on my hip or the small of my back and i wondered if this was more than i thought it was.
i saw him at a party later that night. he was drunk and i was drunk and i said hi and we started talking and all of a sudden he says,
“so am i good kisser?”
or something along those lines, and i was confused because how would i know?
and then he just pulled me towards him and our lips made contact and his mouth opened up into mine and it was all very bizarre and unexpected.
a mutual friend of ours told me that this kind of behaviour was completely out of character for him, and i believe it.
also at one point i detached myself and turned to see his ex-girlfriend standing only a few feet away.
weird dynamics.
saturday night was bizarre as well.
laura and i went to our new friend tristan’s party and we danced for a bit and made friends in the living room before heading off to explore the kitchen.
there were two jonathans in the kitchen and one of them told me i knew how to make an entrance. he told me that he couldn’t take his eyes off of me and i pulled my usual tricks – the palms on shoulders, chests, the back of necks.
he told me he thought i was good at the game – that i’d mastered the art of seduction – but all i was doing was having a conversation. at one point he asked me if i had a boyfriend and i said no. then he said he did have one and i spent about half an hour lecturing him, telling him that he should be faithful and that relationships are mostly worth it and that communication is key, etc etc.
but i guess that wasn’t enough because before he left he told me to meet him at the front door.
i did to say goodbye and he told me he wanted to give me a goodnight kiss, so i let him because when i’m drunk, my sense of judgment goes out the window – or maybe it’s just that i don’t stop myself from succumbing to what i truly want.
so i let him kiss me for a while and that was that.
afterwards, laura and i cabbed it to lucy’s party and another strange thing happened.
partway through the night i found myself talking to a new friend who i’d apparently been trying to hook up with the night before (which is unusual), and who apparently rejected me (also unusual).
we kind of laughed about it and moved on to talking about other things, and i was having fun.
then i decided it was time to leave and as i was making my way out, he told me he wanted to give me a goodnight kiss, so he leaned over and planted one right on my lips.
this one was sweeter than the others – a simple peck lasting maybe a second.
i decided to stay at the party for some reason and we were sitting on a couch for a while with my legs sprawled across his lap as he told me about the girl he likes back home.
weird dynamics.
the thing is, i didn’t initiate any of these incidents.
i kind of just let things happen to me, which maybe isn’t a good thing?
and now i think i’m starting to get sick.