tonight i broke things off (for good) with a man who said he loved me.
he asked me when he’d see me next.
i told him i was busy with finals.
he said he got the message, that i was more to him than i’d ever know, and wished me good luck.
it left me feeling kind of down – kind of like i hurt someone and maybe i should take it all back – but in my heart of hearts, i knew that what is hard may also be necessary.
now he’s just texted me saying he knows i’m special and that he knows how important it is to keep people like me in his life, and that he’s happy he got the chance to try.
“i’m not going to bother you anymore. hopefully one day i’ll receive a call from you. i’ll be ready.”
and he’s right. it’s all too important to keep people in your life, but it’s just as important to let them go.
i know i’m only 20, but i’ve learned enough over the years to understand that you need to let go of the people who hold you back or drag you down.
sometimes someone might get hurt, but eventually we all find our way.
i’m still growing – searching, yearning, feeling, wanting, grasping, hoping, shining, bursting –
i’m on the up and up, and i’ll be damned if i let anyone get in the way.