i’ve been thinking a lot about why people dislike other people – why i sometimes dislike other people, right off the bat, without even bothering to get to know them – with all of my self-righteous judgments and haughty dismissals – setting people aside because they’re just not my cup of tea.
when i sit down and think about it, i find that a lot of the time i dislike people because i see them as manifestations or reflections of insecurities i have about myself, which means it doesn’t really have anything to do with them at all. even so, in my head, they are people i don’t want to associate with.
the negativity stems from me.
i try to remember people aren’t just reflections of the good and bad things i see in myself – the good to be welcomed, the bad to be avoided. they are people in and of themselves, with their own struggles and hardships, and we are all just trying to make it in the world. we are all people just looking to be liked – to be loved.
the world needs a little more love.
so when i catch myself disliking someone for no reason – someone who’s never wronged me – i try to check myself and push all of these negative things aside to make room for something that could be beautiful – a conversation, a friendship.
i know a lot of people, and in my experience the ones who are the most genuinely confident, fearless and secure are the ones who are also the least judgmental – the ones who are open to everyone, willing to give everyone a chance – the ones who don’t see themselves as better than anyone else – the ones who don’t cast others aside.
being nice and treating others well takes a certain confidence and strength, especially when it doesn’t feel easy.
the people i admire most are the ones who show kindness when it is least expected.