i realize that it’s been a while since i’ve actually written about what’s been going on in my life or how i’ve been feeling. i attached the above photo (noemie, luke, joffjoff and me at korova) just to prove that i’m actually doing things and i actually have friends. i was trying to figure out why i never write anymore, and i came up with a few reasons:
1. i’m so effing lazy (a recurring theme in my life)
2. i’ve somehow come to feel like i should only write about really big, out of the ordinary things, because if i wrote about every little thing i do, i’d be writing forever.
3. i’ve been pretty emotionally steady, so no really bad lows to inspire any dark laments or any burning rants or anything.
4. i stopped writing when i didn’t really have the time and catching up on all the things i want to write about just seemed super daunting and stressful.
5. i generally just don’t know what to write about.
but i know that one of my favourite late night hobbies is going through my old blogposts and reliving and (refeeling) all these recorded moments in my life – the little joys, flashes of pain, snippets of things i would’ve otherwise completely forgotten – so i want to start writing again. i’m going to try to post something every day – if anything, it’s good practice. i feel like i need to stretch my writing muscles anyway.
here are some things i’ve been up to over the last few weeks just off the top of my head:
1. i finished my last semester at McGill, and it’s finally getting summery hot. everything is bright and wonderful and the city is coming to life. i don’t really feel like i’ve stepped into the next phase of my life yet though. maybe i’m afraid of having to say this huge goodbye.
2. i saw sufjan stevens in concert with laura. his music is so beautiful, and i didn’t take any photos because i didn’t want to ruin the atmosphere. there was something very solemn about the experience, even though the person in front of us was live-instagraming the entire concert and image googling sufjan stevens.
3. i went up the mountain with luke and we chatted over beers and sun chips (and apples that we never got to eating). it was super cute. we haven’t really been spending much one on one time together, and i guess i kind of missed that, so it was nice that we were able to do that before i leave forever.
4. i went to stereo with chris and katie after a house party and it was super fun. i got to have one last stereo night with chris and we sat on the speakers for a bit and it was nice. we ended up crashing at ally’s place early in the morning, and it was super cute.
5. i went to tamtams with a few friends and later that night joffjoff, noemie, luke and i went up the mountain to beaver lake and just sat in the grass and ate crackers and marshmallows and chocolate (we were going to make smores but we couldn’t find a fire pit by the lake). we talked about the stars and looked up at the night sky (“obed that’s jupiter” “as if, shut up”) and it was cozy, and then we went to resevoir for a bit.
6. luke, joffjoff, noemie and i rolled at our last korova monday. luke went crazy and passed out on noemie in a park for like an hour. i’m not really sure about the chronology of the events that happened that night, but we all ended up sleeping at joffjoff’s.
7. chris took me out for oysters and it was so beautiful and nice. we sat outside and just watched people walking by, soaking in the sun and sipping on caesars. it didn’t even feel like we were in montreal. it was so relaxing and satisfying. then we went to juliette et chocolat for dessert. all of these traditions, one last time.
8. last night chris and i cooked an amazing dinner of honey and dijon-glazed porkchops, tortellini and brussel sprouts. it was so yummy and we had wine and it was very classy and romantic. then i met up with joffjoff, joe and sam at st. elizabeth. luke joined us a little later. we headed over to check out st. sulpice and then met up with cozette and friends just across the street at what i assume to be a pop up bar in an alley that only exists in the summer. it was a chill night, but i’m glad i get to spend some of my dwindling time with my friends.
life has also been interspersed with house parties, trips to the park, meals out, a couple of books (atonement, the secret life of bees), a couple of movies (the avengers 2, insurgent) a lot of tv (REVENGE, bates motel, cartoons) – the usual beginnings of summer stuff. i find myself with a lot of empty time, which i should really be using to clean my room and do errands and stuff, but whatever.
i’m going to madeon with chris at new city gas tonight and we’ve been really looking forward to it, so here’s to hoping for a good night. i’m not sure how much i like new city gas though. it’s always so crowded. also their dress code sucks. but i’m sure it’s going to be a lot of fun.
only a few days left, then i’m gone.
things are going to change soon.
i wonder who’s going to remain a part of my life.