i woke up at 4pm today feeling really low, and i spent the next couple of hours trying to decide whether i should go out and buy some books, or work on some new music.

after aimlessly tinkering with my piano for a few minutes, i decided that to curb my hazyily sad mood, i needed to go out and be with the world, so i asked elaha to come with me to buy some new books.

i started making a list of books i wanted to read, and then i started looking through the stacks and stacks of books i’ve already read.

i found this hidden in one of those stacks, and i immediately teared up.

and then i read the message and went through all the photos and by the time i got to the end of it i was a complete – yet composed – wreck.

my life is littered with reminders of you.

and there are so many things that i miss, and there are so many things i wish i could have back.

but i have to have faith that it’s better this way – that with time, it will all get so much easier.

some days are worse than others, and today was a bad day.

but everything keeps moving.

at least we were lucky enough to have what we had, and i’ll always have this to remember you by – a little relic to prove that it was all real –

– that there truly was love and – maybe – there always will be.

i can feel a change in the wind.

i am becoming new.

but you will always have a part of me.

i hope in the end, all of this is worth it.