there are times when i feel like i’m full of brilliance but have nothing to show for it.
i’ve never been the kind of person to really set a serious goal and try to achieve it. i’ve never had a five year plan, or even a one year plan for that matter. i kind of just drift through life, going with the flow and riding the tide, saying yes to the opportunities that happen to float my way.
i’ve always believed that as long as i was trying to move through the world as kindly as possible, everything else would sort of fall into place.
so it’s starting to feel like i’ve never reached for anything in any meaningful way in my whole life, and sometimes i wonder what it would be like if i did.
maybe i can use this time of stillness and waiting to actually sit down and think about what i want, and who i want to become.
maybe growing up is all about taking the time to examine yourself and all your subtle motivations, to maybe make some adjustments, and then to plan a life that pieces it all together.
or maybe not.