above: the dark and witchy dinner my family prepared for my birthday on thursday.
i haven’t written in a little while because i’ve been either too busy or too tired, although really that shouldn’t be an excuse. next time, i’ll just pop on here for a little bit to get a couple of lines in, however short or haphazard they might be.
it was my birthday on thursday, and i woke up feeling nice and rested and in good health, which was a relief since i’d been feeling stuffy and headache-y for basically all of the previous day.
i ended up working a little later than i’d planned to, and then heading over to my parents’ house to have dinner, blow out the candles of my birthday cake, open presents, and watch a movie.
during dinner, i kept asking my two youngest brothers questions that revolved around me as the subject:
what is your favourite memory of me?
what is the most important thing i’ve ever taught you?
when was the time i made you angriest?
and of course, they didn’t answer any of these questions seriously. i never expected them to. but maybe it would be a fun exercise to try with a group of close friends who would take it more seriously.
i had a strawberry cheesecake this year, which was pretty good. cheesecake used to be my favourite kind of cake, and perhaps it still is, though the ferrero roche cake my brother gets from marche adonis in montreal is pretty high up there.
we watched thoroughbreds (we’ve been on an anya taylor-joy kick, having watched both the queen’s gambit and emma pretty recently), i ejoye. it was dark and funny and a little unconventional.
the movie ended a little late and i was already tired, so i ended up sleeping over with plans to just wake up early in the morning and be back in my own apartment by 8:30AM.
I ended up getting home at around 10:30, having woken up a little later than i’d planned to. i spent some time leisurely talking to my mother in the kitchen before leaving too.
i went over to conor’s house on friday night for dinner and a movie to celebrate my birthday. he roasted fish and vegetables and it was very yummy.
we watched forgeting sarah marshal and (i forced him to watch) the first episode of bridgerton, and it was nice to just hang out with a friend and talk to and spend time with someone outside of work (who wasn’t a part of my family). i don’t really get to see much of my friends these days, which is a necessary shame.
we split a bottle of wine and i ended up leaving pretty late, but i live close by so it was fine.
i went back to my parents’ place yesterday evening to watch a four-part thriller miniseries called “the sister” with my mom. it wasn’t very good, but i guess it was interesting enough to get through. we watched all 4 episodes in one sitting and we started pretty late because my mom didn’t wake up for the day until around 11:30ish pm.
i came back to my apartment this evening, and now i’m lying in my new bathrobe and drinking dreamland tea in one of the schitt’s creek teacups my sister gave me for christmas.
robby paid for my dinner tonight and we watched palm springs together for my birthday, which was very sweet. it was nice of him to do something, even from all the way across the country. we haven’t really spoken over the last few weeks, what with both of us being busy with the holidays and everything, so it was nice to see him again. i missed him.
i also finished reading the shining today, which wasn’t as scary as i thought it was going to be, though it was interesting and entertaining enough.
jack’s character continued my recent train of thought and wondering about why we continue to repeat toxic and self-destructive behaviours even though we should really know better.
why do we allow ourselves to fall into familiar traps, clinging onto things that are no good for us, acting against all reason and rationality?
i’ve been battling my own demons more fervently recently, but i feel like i’m on the cusp of some real and lasting change and transformation.
maybe it’s just wishful thinking.
or maybe i’m just growing up.