i was telling my coworker maya about something silly that happened on sunday:

as i was walking down fonthill road from finsbury park station, a random guy waved me down from one of the many wedding apparel storefronts.

“hey, come in, i’d like to speak with you.”

i should’ve flagged this as an immediate red flag, but i, with my insane sense of curiosity and adventure, decided to hear him out. i stepped into his store and he said,

“i always see you walk by here. do you live around here?”
“ya, i live just down the road.”

and then out of nowhere he came and hugged me, erotically, basically groping me, saying, “nice to meet you,” and then kissing my neck.

i pulled away, but i think i was so shocked that my instinct towards kindness took over, and i just said, “oh, sorry, i’m really busy, i have to go.”

and as i was walking out, he said something like, “don’t worry, there are no cameras here, we can go to the back, don’t you like me?”

and i just left.

i recounted this story to maya, laughing it off as another silly thing to have happened recently, but even i understood i was basically minorly assaulted if you count any form of unwanted sexual contact as assault.

i was treating it so lightly, but she gave it the weight it deserved, saying, “oh my gosh, i’m so sorry that happened to you, you should report it.”

suddenly, a new sense of fear, something icky and gross, and perhaps those emotions weren’t necessarily my own experience, but they settle there, inherent to what happened.

and i thought about all of the people who might not be able to respond by walking away, very young men who might freeze instead of fly, and all the horror that might come out of it.

i’m not sure what to do, really. part of me feels like escalating it and involving authorities would be going too far. maybe he’s not so different from a sleazy man hitting on a woman at a bar.

at the very least, i’m thinking of going back to the store and telling him that that wasn’t okay, that it’s actually assault and lecturing him on consent.

realistically, i might just let things lie. honestly, things like this have happened to me before, sadly.

on the bright side, a woman at church today asked if i was a model. i said no, and she said, “but you’re so fashionable and charismatic,” and i’m going to hold onto that compliment for a long time.

after work, i went for a run at a park nearby, then had dinner with chris and his family, and then went to my church community group.

we talked about prayer, and how we all think about it, experience it, participate in it. people were open and honest, vulnerable in their challenging, questioning, wondering.

somehow we ended up talking about the heaviness of the world, all of the pain, things not going as planned, seasons of disappointment. but also about hope, people persevering, God showing up in unexpected ways, in the people around us, in moments of reprieve and relief, in the light at the ends of tunnels.

and at the end, we prayed for each other, and there was a sense of solidarity in trying to draw near to God, in true hope and faith. honestly it was quite beautiful.