above: elaha and camille as a couple of sassy sailor scouts.
sometimes i just do things to distract myself from thinking of other, sometimes sadder things.
i think i might’ve been feeling lonely that night.
my thoughts have been weighing on someone in particular recently, and i mentally kick myself over and over for letting myself get so attached so quickly. i never really liked the feeling of wanting someone more than they want me; it makes me feel disempowered, vulnerable and prone to breaking.
maybe i’m just in love with the idea of being in love.
but back to the point.
so i went out to go trick-or-treating because i couldn’t stand staying at home, burdened by my own thoughts and anxieties.
i met up with yodit, but she had to go get ready so i went to 2-4-1 and chilled with shannon while she worked. she was a lumberjack, and might i say, she pulled it off.
AROUSING.
yodit eventually got there, and we went door to door, braving the cold in favour of free candy.
there’s a certain kind of shame and embarrassment that comes with trick-or-treating at this age, but i got into the spirit of things, and i didn’t want to waste an outfit, so it was still a good time.
it was hella cold though.
after we parted ways, i headed back to 2-4-1 for a while and then met up with elaha and camille.
they’d been trick-or-treating too (as sailor scouts) and they neglected to bring coats (as coats would ruin the integrity of the costume) so they were freezing.
we headed to timothy’s, but it was absurdly crowded because there was a street party going on.
dave wasn’t working.
we ordered drinks and elaha was pissy and eventually camille’s dad picked them up. i walked them over to meet him and realized after parting that i’d forgotten my phone at timothy’s. so i went and picked that up and then i went back outside and was fully intent on going home, but was intercepted by a group of guys who wanted to take my photo.
i kindly obliged and then we started talking and i found out a few of my friends were at the same event, so i ended up hanging out with these randoms for a bit while waiting for my friends to find me.
WORST DECISION EVER.
my shirt was kind of open at the front and people passing by kept running their hands down my chest and stuff, so i got nervous and ran away.
i called my friend and let him know i was heading home because i was too uncomfortable and it was too cold to wait around.
he got mad at me.
next year, i’m having a quiet halloween.
i’m going to be with someone i really like, and we’re going to sit on a couch and watch horror movies.
it’ll be sweet.