snaps from halloween night.
Tag: halloween 2010
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trick-or-treating.
above: elaha and camille as a couple of sassy sailor scouts.
sometimes i just do things to distract myself from thinking of other, sometimes sadder things.
i think i might’ve been feeling lonely that night.
my thoughts have been weighing on someone in particular recently, and i mentally kick myself over and over for letting myself get so attached so quickly. i never really liked the feeling of wanting someone more than they want me; it makes me feel disempowered, vulnerable and prone to breaking.
maybe i’m just in love with the idea of being in love.
but back to the point.
so i went out to go trick-or-treating because i couldn’t stand staying at home, burdened by my own thoughts and anxieties.
i met up with yodit, but she had to go get ready so i went to 2-4-1 and chilled with shannon while she worked. she was a lumberjack, and might i say, she pulled it off.
AROUSING.
yodit eventually got there, and we went door to door, braving the cold in favour of free candy.
there’s a certain kind of shame and embarrassment that comes with trick-or-treating at this age, but i got into the spirit of things, and i didn’t want to waste an outfit, so it was still a good time.
it was hella cold though.
after we parted ways, i headed back to 2-4-1 for a while and then met up with elaha and camille.
they’d been trick-or-treating too (as sailor scouts) and they neglected to bring coats (as coats would ruin the integrity of the costume) so they were freezing.
we headed to timothy’s, but it was absurdly crowded because there was a street party going on.
dave wasn’t working.
we ordered drinks and elaha was pissy and eventually camille’s dad picked them up. i walked them over to meet him and realized after parting that i’d forgotten my phone at timothy’s. so i went and picked that up and then i went back outside and was fully intent on going home, but was intercepted by a group of guys who wanted to take my photo.
i kindly obliged and then we started talking and i found out a few of my friends were at the same event, so i ended up hanging out with these randoms for a bit while waiting for my friends to find me.
WORST DECISION EVER.
my shirt was kind of open at the front and people passing by kept running their hands down my chest and stuff, so i got nervous and ran away.
i called my friend and let him know i was heading home because i was too uncomfortable and it was too cold to wait around.
he got mad at me.
next year, i’m having a quiet halloween.
i’m going to be with someone i really like, and we’re going to sit on a couch and watch horror movies.
it’ll be sweet.
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night of dread.
above: taken basking in the heat of the dufferin mall, in the midst of trying to assemble.
woke up early on saturday and spent all of the morning and much of the afternoon in varying degrees of frustration, working with my mom to finish up a scholarship application and send it on time.
i would later learn that this was all done in vain.
i got to nicky’s house at about 5 p.m. for lorette’s farewell party; she’s heading back to france.
i liked her. i tend to love speakers of broken english, and we found common ground.
the dress code for the night was black and white and after we were all in costume, we headed out to dufferin grove park.
the sun set quickly and the cold air mixed with the darkness to create an ever-present chill that got worse throughout the night.
the event itself wasn’t that great, seeing as the target audience was little children, but it was still interesting to watch. giant puppets representing different fears in some strange little dance, fire-tossers dispelling the darkness and fighting off the demons – it was all very strange.
we eventually headed back to nicky’s and i departed soon afterwards because i didn’t want to stick around to watch people make out, which i concluded would inevitably happen and would probably put me in a state of lonely despair.
luckily, shannon got a hold of me and i headed off to meet her at Josh’s eighteenth birthday party.
last time i was at his house, i was completely sober, and sobriety can be deadly in an environment like that. but i was a bit tipsy already and i quickly found some wine, so i managed to have a good time.
met a bunch of new people and some of them had already heard of me.
apparently i have a reputation for knowing everyone, even though this is a blatant and inaccurate misconception.
after the party, shannon and i headed to get coffee at the timothy’s on church st. dave was working and after a bit of flirting and testing of the waters, we concluded that he was into me, which i didn’t mind in the least.
i mean, no, i’m not going to let this become anything as that would be slutty and he’s probably, like, 24, but still.
all was good, we chatted up a storm and we eventually headed home at around 4 a.m.
some guy from leeds stopped us and insisted that i take the streetcar with him, but thankfully shannon helped me politely decline.
“sorry, i’m just really set on walking tonight.”
and i was. i needed the cold and the night to sober me up; it was kind of cleansing at a time like that – in the quiet, in the dark.
i was content, and there was something remarkably serene in my solitude.
i felt like everything was going to be okay.
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the dance.
above: a shot i took of the the red queen (left), white rabbit (center) and alice (right).
it’s that time of year again, kids. dawn your masks, cloaks and capes; this is the time to lose yourself, become something completely different.
shed normalcy, it’s alright to go insane.
before meeting up with siobhan, kamal and sage, i dropped by subway and had a nice conversation with the cashier.
‘i know what you are.’
i didn’t know if he was being sarcastic or not.
i was clearly a pirate.
bought my six inch meatball marinara and ran to meet siobhan in her car and we drove to her house to get our costumes together and do some general primping up. i redid my eyeliner and watched the girls; their hands applying their make up, so meticulously, careful, careful; unlike me, they knew what they were doing. looking at their reflections in the mirror as they worked was like peering into their secret world – a world of hidden beauty and grace.
highlight your best features, frame your face well, make yourself pretty.
we weren’t the first to get to BSS and the first thing i noticed upon entering the dance was that the lights were on, however dim, and you could see everything.
apparently this was a precaution taken by the teachers in an attempt to stop the inevitable and awkward grinding of students who go to single sex schools and were all too excited for a chance to rub against each other.
we spent a few hours on the dance floor, the music blaring in the background.
when i dance, i lose myself in it, and then it’s just the movement and the sweat and the heat.
these high school dances are always so awkward though; nobody actually really dances. i think they were quite a bit too busy thinking about each other, worrying about making a fool of themselves and the such. if only they knew the joys of letting go – leaving it all behind before you hit the dance floor and just being in the moment, carefree and alive.
i saw some old friends, made some new ones, and by the time i left – with a different group than the one i came with – i was in a slight state of euphoria – a buzz that had nothing to do with alcohol – and the cold air couldn’t do a thing to bring me down.
we went to subway and i saw the cashier from earlier, and i think we pissed him off because he was just about to close.
i thought it was too bad; he seemed nice and his eyes burned with something wonderful.
after leaving and bearing the cold a little longer, we parted ways and then i was home.
i think the euphoria had worn off by then.
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halloween weekend.
not a bad weekend at all.
i guess i’ll break it down into three separate posts:
1. the dance
2. night of dread
3. halloweeni might take a more abstract approach into the writing for these, depending on how whimsical i’m feeling.
