shark in the water – vv brown
i heard this song on a car ride home and got hooked on the chorus.
it made me think of summer.
and feel empowered.
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i hate it when ugly people know hot people and then proceed to take photos with them.
a friend who shall remain unnamed
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my best friend just came by and dropped off this crappy get well soon card she made for me.
as you can see, i’ve spilled my favorite food (soup) all over myself in a frantic effort to eat it and get better (it is magic food). also, there’s a teddy bear and some puke.
i love it to bits.
if only she were a tad bit more literate…
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my darling friend lisa tried youtube-ing my name and somehow came across this.
it’s actually one of the creepiest things i’ve ever seen.
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sick.
i have the stomach flu. it makes me feel like a pregnant woman. yesterday i couldn’t eat any actual food because i’d immediately throw it back up. it made me feel really skinny. all i could drink was water and even that i threw up. it was pretty gross.
but i feel a lot better now so i think i’m going to go for a night walk. i’ve been bed-ridden for the last two days and the weather’s been infuriatingly nice. i need some fresh air (well, as fresh as it ever gets in downtown toronto). i love the city at night.
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a jumble.
there are strings of lyrics floating in my head right now and i need to get them down before i forget.
he makes you smile, he makes you cry, he hates you
he makes you wanna stay a while, elates you
he makes you wonder why you haven’t spoken
he makes you wish that you were never broken
and in the night, he whispers in your ear
in the night you pretend that you can’t hear
you turn around to face the other side
you draw back in and try your best to hide
you go downstairs where you cry, where you smoke that cigarette
you remember all his lies, and you try to forget
all the pain that’s inside, oh you try to forget
all the pain that’s inside, oh you try t forgeti might finish it one day.
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Why do you love me so much? I can’t bear it when you touch me that way and I have to say no.
i’m sorry, i just can’t help myself. you’re just so goddamn sexy.
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fickle.
i’ve grown to accept the fact that i can be quite fickle about certain things. i think it stems from a discord between my head and my heart. i switch back and forth in terms of which one takes precedence. i have trouble deciding on which one to listen to. it’s the whole ‘angel vs devil’ complex manifesting itself.
sometimes i want things that aren’t good for me.
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http://www.veoh.com/static/swf/webplayer/WebPlayer.swf?version=AFrontend.5.5.0.1004&permalinkId=v1994505492BtsFjX&player=videodetailsembedded&videoAutoPlay=0&id=23264523
Watch remembering. in People & Blogs | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.comso elaha and i made this during the march break.
it was raining and she had just run away from home, so we decided to make a film.i tried uploading it to youtube a bunch of times, but the audio kept going out of synch. it was annoying.
i posted the song a while ago and said there was a film in my head that played when i listened to it.
i guess this kind of resembles that film.(Source: http://www.veoh.com/)
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prehistoric.
my mom decided she’s not bringing her prehistoric laptop to the philippines so i can use it for my last term of eleventh grade. it’s wicked awesome. i’m using it to type up this post. i have to keep a portable cooling fan underneath it at all times or else it will explode or something. also, i can’t find its battery charger so it always has to be plugged in. and its usb port is broken, but, you know, we’re getting that fixed up ASAP.
they were worried i’d be embarrassed because it’s so old and clunky and i go to a school full of upper class wasps, but i love it to death. it’s kind of like my cheap ipod rip off mp3 player which i cherish and adore. if anybody asks, i’ll just say i can only use things if they’re vintage and old and not from now.
i’ll be one of those anti-modern chic types going against the crowd. not cliche at all. it’ll be great.
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dialogue #4
elaha: why do you take pleasure in my misery?
me: you’re loving life, don’t even lie to yourself
elaha: do you feed on my tears? i feel like you feed on my tears.
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procrastinating.
i’m at the video store where shannon works avoiding my homework, as per usual.
don’t tell my parents, they didn’t want to let me out.i don’t think i ever learn anything from my mistakes.
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do you know what hurts the most about a broken heart? not being able to remember how you felt before.
cassie
