impromptu jam sesh courtesy of our residentail band myles stone.
(Source: tumblr_luoqcx0fql1qb907m_r1
impromptu jam sesh courtesy of our residentail band myles stone.
)
Month: November 2011
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bon iver – calgary.
i’ve changed the song to mark my welcoming of the winter season.
i am finally beginning to accept that yes, maybe it is getting kind of cold outside. maybe i should stop exiting the building clad only in a flimsy tank top, a pair of short shorts and flip flops.
i’m starting to warm up to the people here though – i’m figuring out the quirks and oddities of everyone in my life.
there are different hands i want to hold, and different eyes i want watching me, but though things have changed with the season, i still hold on to everything i had with an earnest grip.
i am not afraid to admit that people here affect me.
i am constantly learning from everyone – every interaction contributes to who i am
– and how i feel.
sometimes my moods are swayed by those around me, but that’s okay because i think that that’s how everyone is, no matter how hidden of a secret they keep it.
i am still dipping my toes into the water.
i’m just waiting for when i’m ready to jump in.
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new friends, a birthday, an arrival, an interview and coming home to a barely functional friend at 3 in the morning.
all in the span of a friday night.
(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
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say no to quiet nights.
above: jasper and my new friend julian (julien?).
it seems that i’m just not suited to have a quiet thursday night around here.
the plan was to lie in my bed and read until i fell asleep, but instead i submitted to jasper’s beckoning and made my way over to the sixth floor common room to meet her friend.
we spoke on dirty couches and although he was somewhat reserved, he tolerated my headstrong forwardness and i appreciated that.
the rest of the night was spent drinking wine and buying food and then i went back to my room and watched the new episode of the vampire diaries (which was really good, btw).
last night was a bit more hectic.
i met jeremy and shawn – holly’s friends from toronto – and they were friendly and interesting so i stuck around. i told them i was going to the concert at club belmont and we arranged for four extra tickets (lisa was also coming to town).
so there was our plan for the night.
we met up with jasper and wizard and got high and then we were ready to begin with the night’s festivities.
we got changed and started drinking after dinner and once we were all ready and full of alcohol, we stepped into a van and drove off to the venue.
i ended up losing my friends in the crowd again, but that’s alright because kosi kept me company.
as the crowd got bigger and bigger, people got more and more pushy – free space on the dance floor was near to nonexistent, but i was close to the front and the bass kept me going.
eventually i caught ivanna’s arm and we headed home together, stopping at belle province on the way.
the rest of the night was spent being amused by a really high jan and chit-chat-chatting with jasper over some orange sorbet.
‘twas good.
i’ve started documenting my life via film because i got a new app on my phone.
i always love new toys.
i’m supposed to watch paranormal activity 3 today with a bunch of friends.
so. stoked.
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this is my room at 6:05 in the morning.
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fickle hearts and fast tongues.
me: huh. he’s kind of cute, i guess.
jasper: is he your next victim?
me: i resent that.
jasper: i mean…target?
me: …
jasper: …
me: that’s not much better.
jasper: i really meant victim.
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it is 3:21 am.
i went to bed at around 12:30, fell asleep and then woke up feeling inexplicably lonely, –
:like the whole wide world is full of happy people but nobody knows my name.
and all i’m looking for is a hand to hold but nobody reaches out.
and all i want is a pair of eyes to stare at me just because i’m there,
– and maybe the warmth of a kiss on a shared bed.
i still haven’t found anything here.
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disheartened.
i’m dramatic beyond repair.
i know that – everyone who even remotely knows me knows that.
and now i’m in a bad – yet slightly empowering – mood.
it’s hard not to feel attacked when you’re told that you’re essentially terrible in your position, that you lack leadership skills, and that the only innovative thing that you’re proud to have come up with is in all actuality terribly inappropriate and must be swept under the rug. but not so deep down, i know they’re just looking out for me, and i appreciate it.
i’ve never really had this much responsibility before and i feel like i’m messing up.
and i feel like people are starting to lose faith in me.
(maybe they didn’t have any in the first place)
but i can’t lose faith in myself.
there’s still time to fix things and prove them wrong; show them what i’m made of.
i’ve always been quite good at that.
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also, here’s floor two being crazy a few weeks ago.
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here’s my awful quasi-australian accent.
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and it’s over.
if anyone can read what’s written on my chest, i commend you and hope you laugh.
the gemstones reveal my shameless truth.
i was going to be an angel, but my friend guilt-tripped me into reluctantly lending him my wings so i decided to be a stripper. except i couldn’t find a vest so i settled on being a really slutty cat (thank goodness i still had the ears).
halloweekend’s over and done with and it’s left me both light-heartedly wistful and painfully exhausted.
i can’t even properly remember how many all-nighters i pulled but i can probably count the total number of hours i slept over the four days on my fingers.
i spent all of monday decorating for the NRH preparty – all streamers and plastic skulls, fake blood on blank paper and weight on my eyelids. 7:30 rolled by faster than i thought it would, and it was quiet at first, but it got fun as people finished getting into costume and started strolling in – even if the pull factor was the free alcohol at the back of the room. i managed to snag a strobelight from shakespeare so it was all flashing lights and blaring music. there was also a giant lifesize poster of myself for ‘pin the tail on the obed.’
i was thoroughly amused.
nightmare on crescent street got so crowded that i had to leave early. bodies, bodies everywhere – i could barely move, let alone dance. so, so many people, all hilariously drunk. the alcohol was the worst kind of influence, and soon the crowd was a mess of open mouths and sloppy tongues and i found myself pushing my way through the hazy crowd – parting the sea of barely cognizant girls in stilettos, and the boys who were trying to keep them standing (remember children, consent is not the absence of a ‘no.’ it is the presence of a ‘yes’). i’m pretty sure a mosh pit almost emerged at some point, and to that i raised my hand and said ‘no’ – shoving back when i got shoved.
nellie and i headed over to a house party afterwards, and i got mistaken for a hot girl by a confused boy dressed as a lobster.
and then we went to pita pit and we were happy.
i went back to my room with the intention of sleeping, but did some general interweb browsing and watched an episode of suburgatory (new favourite show) instead.
i have a midterm tomorrow that i haven’t started studying for (despite saying i would for the last several hours – all talk, all talk), so i should probably get some rest.
i have a new crush, but i’m not giving away any hints.
nobody takes me seriously with my crushes, but just because my desires are many and fleeting doesn’t mean they aren’t loaded with promise and conviction.
careful world, –
i might just start following heartlines.
